We all know that marriage can be stressful, but why? Here are the top five reasons married couples have issues. These may seem obvious, but it is helpful to have them laid out to see where you stand in your marriage. If you are getting red flags with several of these topics it may be time to dig deeper.
Money- This is definitely one of the biggest stressors for marriages. It is a great obstacle to overcome and can be a source of contention for all marriages. If you were to name right now the top 3 fights you have ever had with your significant other I would guarantee you that 2 of the 3 were about money (if not all 3!). Conflict is rampant when it comes to money and it is the number one stress for married couples.
Sex- Sex isn’t always all fun and games. When one person wants to be intimate in a moment, and the other person doesn’t, tension ensues. The person that was turned down will no doubt wonder if they are good enough and attractive enough for the other person to want to have sex with them.
In some cases the person that doesn’t want sex in the moment may be feeling the exact same thoughts of self worth and THAT’S why they are not in the mood. These are just some examples of feelings regarding sex, for more information see (Article name that is about feelings regarding sex). Sex is complicated and messy and a major source of stress if thoughts and intentions are not clearly communicated between partners.
Children- Let me be clear, I have no children of my own, so my experience is limited. However, I know several couples that do have kids. Children add a great many joys, which we talk about (here- add link), but are also a major stress factor for relationships. Children are expensive as well as very demanding of your time, which in turn raises the stress level on money AND sex issues. Having a baby that you have to care for that is repeatedly waking you up at night effects your’s and your partner’s sleep habits. Lack of sleep leads to increased irritability which of course reduces one’s ability to react calmly to situations. The stress of having kids is real and its effect on marriage is potent.