Imagine getting home from your honeymoon after just getting married. It all happened so fast. It was a whirlwind of planning, and the wedding day passed by with a flurry of activity. The Honeymoon was awesome and breathtaking, but now you find yourself facing a week of work and a life full of all of the challenges that come with being married. Being a newlywed is equivalent to reaching the top of a mountain and peering out over the valley below. Everything you and your new spouse have been working so hard to achieve is now completed! Congratulations! Imagine looking out into that valley… What do you see? Some of you might see kids, other’s new jobs or maybe even a new house. You may even find yourself asking “what’s next?” “What does this marriage have in store for me?” “Am I really married now!?” “Am I ready to play the newlywed game?”
Well, YES you ARE married now and marriage has plenty in store for you. It has the potential to be great, but it has to be worked on. This work doesn’t start 3 years down the road. It started with the marriage counseling that you may have taken but possibly already forgot, continued during the honeymoon, and is further practiced as you step foot in your home.
For example, Miranda and I had a rough go of it during our honeymoon. We were not truly vibing as we always had before. I don’t remember having any fights, or any huge arguments, it just wasn’t the time we had thought it was going to be. It didn’t live up to our expectations of this awesome great time. We had both been dreaming of what our honeymoons would look like since we were very young, and unfortunately it wasn’t living up to the hype.
In a way, this carried over into our first 3 months of marriage. Things were rocky at times and it wasn’t exactly what we expected! Some would probably just say “That’s marriage for you!” (by the way this is a major pet peeve for me, marriage is what you make it!). Regardless, it wasn’t perfect, but I never doubted for a second that Miranda and I were meant to be together. We made a promise to be together for the rest of our lives and it was one we meant to keep! We continued to be intentional about making small changes for the good of the relationship. and soon became newlyweds with a renewed vision for the future. We were determined to keep pressing forward and fight vigorously for each other no matter what.
I am not sure where the major switch occurred, but things started looking up in a major way. We became closer than we ever thought possible, and though all the world may be jealous Miranda is indeed my best friend! Personal story aside, things are not easy! We didn’t get to the point that we are today without realizing that each and every day is an opportunity to learn something new about each other. Each day we have the potential to grow closer and this excites us in a real and tangible way!
However, even amidst the good times, the thought of things not working out can creep its way into your mind. You may even be asking the question “What if we fail?” “What are the consequences if my spouse and I just cant figure things out?”
If we truly looked within we would admit that we all have a fear of failure. So many marriages don’t even see it coming. We tend to fall into the newlywed game. Who will break first? Who will be the one to say that certain things may not be working as things currently stand? No marriage is perfect. Marriage takes intentional conversations and intentional effort!
Don’t stand idly by and accept the status quo. If you aren’t moving forward there is a good chance you might be drifting backwards. Something bothering you? TALK about it. A conflict is almost always worth bringing up. Don’t get caught in the newlywed game of keeping quiet and letting everything go. Live out your marriage intentionally and keep striving forward, and things will get better and better each day!
What are your thoughts on this? Do you have a similar experience or maybe a completely different one? Please share it in the comments below, and be sure to sign up for our newsletter while you are at it.
Thank you for reading and stay intentional!
PS: trouble getting the conversation started? Here is a list of 100 questions to get you talking!