Hello again my friends,
Today I am going to talk about cheating in relationships. Let the “Oooos” and “ahhhhs” begin! For real though, stick with me here and maybe we can all learn something together. I am going to share my thoughts on cheating, discuss the impact of cheating on relationships, and then ask for your opinions on this touchy subject.
First of all, this is definitely a difficult topic. It is a topic that can spark rage in a person with no direct involvement in cheating, just by hearing of it. I can hear them say “He did what!?” Amidst a chorus of shaking heads and judgmental thoughts. Everyone is thinking at the same moment “I would never do anything like that!” Well what if you did? What if you found yourself in a situation where you were tempted? What if your marriage was falling apart and you happened upon someone that could better meet your current emotional and physical needs? Humans are by their very nature prone to make bad decisions, even with the threat of immediate and irreparable consequences.
I ask these questions and pose the issue in this way to say that we are not perfect. Everyone has the potential to make terrible decisions and to be tempted to do things that they know they might immediately regret. Cheaters are still human and deserve grace no matter what the situation. However, just as murderers go to jail, cheaters can’t expect to be forgiven right away and given a second chance at the relationship. This is between the person and their partner and far be it for me to say what decision you SHOULD make if this happens to you and your partner. I am merely pondering this topic. Just remember that all actions that we take do have consequences and we cannot expect others to forgive us, especially when it comes to these types of issues.
While I was listening to the radio this week I heard a woman call in to respond to a question about cheating. This question was posed on the Elvis Duran show as a part of a topic train. She stated that she wasn’t actually cheating, but that she was sleeping with a man that she knew was married. Without coming right out and saying it, Elvis hinted that this was indeed still cheating and that she should really stop sleeping with the man. The woman laughed and that was the end of the call. It didn’t get discussed any further but it left me really pondering the concept of cheating that some people have in our culture nowadays.
This woman may not be cheating on anyone herself, but she is definitely contributing to the “cheat” and is just as guilty as the man in this case. She knows that the man is married and apparently she just doesn’t care. In no way is the man less at fault that her, he IS the one that is married, but the attitude that she has about it left a disgusting taste in my mouth. Are we as a culture so opposed to the idea of faithfulness and honesty within a marriage that this type of thing seems normal? It saddens me that this stuff occurs and we (myself included) are not surprised that it is occurring. In a way, we are desensitized to this type of conduct that happens so regularly in TV, movies, and even in real life right around us.
In my brief search on Google for posts related to “cheating in relationships” The 3rd link lead me to a page that was proposing that cheating was actually a healthy part of relationships. Here is a direct quote from that page-
“A lot of men who are in serious relationships usually end up cheating after a couple of years. The reason is simple; men stuck in long-term relationships feel they are missing out on something. Most of the time, these men cheat because they are frustrated and need to get it out of their systems.”
You can see the rest of the page here Can Cheating Be Healthy For A Relationship?
Now, I do see myself as having an open mind on most topics. It is something that I learned from my father and it is the way I always try to approach all topics. I will try and make the discussion on this post no different, but man, this one is tough. Several of the points made are listed below-
1) Men are explorers and cheating early on in less important relationships clears the way later on and prevents cheating when the stakes are higher (married, kids etc.)
2) Once you cheat you now know what you are missing and are ready to go back and not take your partner for granted.
3) All relationships are going to end anyways, so why not cheat in order to open your eyes to the problems you are already having?
Cheating is never healthy for a relationship. The notions proposed in this article are absurd and incompatible with the goal to foster trust, security and love for a partner. Cheating is never acceptable in any fashion, and proposing that it can actually be a good thing for a relationship is insane. Cheating breaks trust, fosters thoughts of self-doubt, and most importantly causes pain. I think back to the discussion on the radio and I can only imagine what the woman that is married to that man must be feeling. Unfortunately she probably doesn’t even know, but it breaks my heart to think of how she is going to react and how hurt she is going to feel when she does find out. It feels so wrong to hear about something like this on the radio, especially when the woman being cheated on is most likely in the dark.
As I stated, trust is indeed the foundation of a solid marriage. If that trust is rocked by an event such as cheating, the entire marriage can collapse. Trust and security are paramount to a blissfully happy marriage, and without it, marriage become a battle ground of emotions and pain. For more info on How Cheating Wrecks a Marriage and Other Relationships click the link.
What are your thoughts on the subject? Have you ever been in a relationship where cheating has occurred? I would love to hear from you in the comments. Feel free to post anonymously if you would like since this is such a sensitive issue. No judgement will be passed upon you! As always, please sign up for our mailing list to receive our newsletter and to receive notifications when we have new posts.
Thanks for reading, and have a great rest of your day!